First rule of recovery

Recovery is a process of change whereby individuals work to improve their own health and wellness and to live a meaningful life in a community of their choice while striving to achieve their full potential. Principles of Recovery:
– Person-driven;
– Occurs via many pathways;
– Is holistic;
– Is supported by peers;
– Is supported through relationships;
– Is culturally-based and influenced;
– Is supported by addressing trauma;
– Involves individual, family, and community strengths and responsibility;
– Is based on respect; and
– Emerges from hope.

Safe Place

Life can be stressful for anyone, but for people dealing with the negative effects of trauma on top of everyday life, elevated stress levels can be much more common. One of the most common relaxation techniques for EMDR is known as “safe place,” also referred to as “calm place.” Safe place” may be thought of as an emotional sanctuary where a person can internally go to recover stability when feeling stressed. Once the person has successfully learned to perform “safe place,” it is used in the reprocessing phase of trauma.. It is also useful in one’s everyday life when a person feels stress or a disturbance rising to a point they need to take out and use a coping tool from their internal toolbox. It is important to find a right therapist who will help you to learn and reinforce this technique.

What could be your ‘safe place’?

New Years Resolutions – be S.M.A.R.T. about them!

In many miracles, we have a significant, active role to play, without making the miracle come true. The new year is passed by most people with a thrill of excitement, resurrected hope. Its main source is a symbolic indication that something is ending, but something new is starting. This transition announces a change that in a subjective sense goes far beyond the modification in the digital record of the year. We express desired and expected changes in our New Year wishes and dreams. Here is the general scenario for people who want to actively help fate so that the new year brought the desired changes:

1. Name precisely and specifically the goal you want to achieve.
2. What does this mean to you? How do you know that you have it? What will this indicator be?
3. How do you know that what you have achieved is what you want to have?
4. Is the goal you want to achieve in terms of your influence?
5. What will be the first step you will take?
6. What will the program of your activities be: monthly, weekly, daily?
7. What obstacles can appear in your way and what then can you do to further your goal?

I wish everyone’s goals to be fulfilled

🙂 Happy New Year!

Spiritual journey

December is usually a magical time for me – work seems more relaxed, Christmas are coming, it is a period of reflection. I remember that many years ago I belonged to people who could not put boundaries in relations with others. Unfortunately, it caused me a lot of pain, suffering, sense of hopelessness. I often wondered why the people I loved treated me so badly? It took me many years of hard work to learn how to set healthy boundaries and how I want to be treated by others – psychotherapy, self-development, learning about my own identity, changing the environment and people who were an important part of my life helped me. These were difficult changes – I was often scared and doubted myself. But how has my life changed! Now I know that in order to build healthy, based on equality relationship with others I had to rebuild the relationship with myself first: learn respect, love, goodness, discover my needs and limitations, and not be afraid to express myself in a way that is understandable to others. It is normal to be afraid – fear is an irresistible element of change. The most important thing is not to let this fear stop you in your spiritual development. If I could make such changes – I am sure that you can make them too.

Gratitude


‘Gratitude’ derives from the Latin ‘gratia’, which, depending on the context, translates as ‘grace’, ‘graciousness’, or ‘gratefulness’.

Gratitude never came easily to us human beings, and is a diminishing virtue in modern times. In our consumerist society, we focus on what we lack, or what other people have that we don’t, whereas gratitude is the feeling of appreciation for what we already have. It is the recognition that the good in our life can come from something that is outside us and outside our control – be it other people, nature, or a higher power and that owes little or nothing to us.

Practicing gratitude means paying attention to what we are thankful for to the degree of feeling more kind and compassionate toward the world at large. It can motivate people to make positive changes in their lives. Studies show that people can deliberately cultivate gratitude by literally counting their blessings and writing letters of thanks, for example. This proactive acknowledgement can increase well-being, health, and happiness. Being grateful, and especially the expression of it, is also associated with increased energy, optimism, and empathy.

Pscyhological masks – which one are you wearing?

We all wear ‘masks’ in everyday life. Some of the reasons for wearing a mask can be: to cope, to fit in, to protect ourselves, to be acceptable in our family/social circle, to feel safe, to be loved, to avoid being hit or scolded or shamed. We have also different types of masks e.g. angry mask, people-pleaser mask, avoidance mask, happy mask, functional mask.

Each of our masks has 3 layers: false positive (we are “looking good” – most external); false negative (we “gotta hide” – middle); true self (this is “pure me” – core). Content-less is the key here. I have a mask but I am not my mask. I have a story and I am more than my story. I have thoughts, feelings, history, desire, conflicts, beliefs, habits (good and bad) and that is not the whole of me.

As we take off our first layer of masks (false positive) we begin to create the possibility of intimacy. We begin to show ourselves, beyond the good-looking masks and into the darker masks: rage, control, prejudice, greed, fear, doubt, longing (false negative). True Self – here is where we are authentic, unique, and soulful. Here we are not limited by story nor defined by life’s experiences, circumstances or other people! In this place where we are what we are looking for, lies a peacefulness and acceptance of our Selves, for who we are deeply.

Taking off the mask can be a very scary process but only then you will be able to re-claim your authentic, beautiful, unique self and give yourself a change to connect with other on a deeper level.

Coming to terms with our shadow

“The shadow is that hidden, repressed, for the most part inferior and guilt-laden personality whose ultimate ramifications reach back into the realm of our animal ancestors and so comprise the whole historical aspect of the unconscious’’ (Jung, 1963). The shadow is a primordial part of our human inheritance, which, try as we might, can never be eluded. The pervasive Freudian defense mechanism known as projection is how most people deny their shadow, unconsciously casting it onto others so as to avoid confronting it in oneself. Such projection of the shadow is engaged in not only by individuals but groups, cults, religions, and entire countries, and commonly occurs during wars and other contentious conflicts.

Coming to terms with the shadow and constructively accepting and assimilating it into the conscious personality is central to the process to become authentic and achieve integrity.

Bereavment – have you lost some significant in your life?

Bereavement is the state of loss when someone close to you has died. The death of someone you love is one of the greatest sorrows that can occur. Feelings of bereavement can also accompany other losses, such as the decline of your health or the health of someone you care about, or the end of an important relationship. Grief is a normal, healthy response to loss.

Everyone feels grief in his or her own way, but there are certain stages to the process of mourning. It starts with recognizing a loss and continues until that loss is eventually accepted. People’s responses to grief will vary depending upon the circumstances of the death.

A wide and confusing range of emotions may be experienced after a loss. There can be five stages of grief. These reactions might not occur in a specific order, and can (at times) occur together. Not everyone experiences all of these emotions:
– Denial, disbelief, numbness
– Anger, blame
– Bargaining (for instance, “If I am cured of this cancer, I will never smoke again”)
– Depressed mood, sadness, and crying
– Acceptance, coming to terms

Losing someone is extremely difficult so, please, remember – you don’t need to go through this on your own. Be kind to yourself and be open to receive support, warmth, care from others in regards to recover.