Many of us live in denial of who we truly are because we fear losing someone or something-and there are times that if we don’t rock the boat, too often the one we lose is ourselves…It feels good to be accepted, loved, and approved of by others, but often the membership fee to belong to that club is far too high of a price to pay….
Are you codependent? If yes, would you like to change it?
Intensity-seeking is an enslavement of our own perpetuation. When we step out of the delirium of always seeking someone new, and meet the same old sad and lonely child within, our healing journey begins. Exhausting ourselves with novelty is a defense against our deepest pain, one that we cannot outrun. But once we stop and feel our losses, we can begin our healing journey and be the authentic, joyous person we were born to be.
The challenge of addiction is to understand how and why addicts are so insensitive to the future consequences of their drug use. When faced with a choice that brings immediate pleasure, even at the risk of experiencing future negative outcomes, addicts appear oblivious to the consequences of their actions. Even more challenging is the understanding of why this same choice is repeatedly made with the negative consequences. Understanding what motivates these decisions is a critical part of prevention and treatment of addiction.
Addiction arises when the automatic system wins the competition against the deliberative system for behavioral control. Both systems are important to forming decisions, and good choices appear most likely to emerge when the two systems work in concert.
Thus, addiction recovery includes restoring the balance between impulse and self-control. Eventually, there must be a connection between these two systems to control the impulsive system to treat the addictive behavior. For example, treating alcoholism is more than just stopping drinking alcohol, it requires to address the forces that compel needs for alcohol. Alcohol numbs the pain and allows one to think that one is doing just fine. Similarly, overeating (food high in sugar and fat) is used to deal with fear, doubt, and insecurity.
In the light of modern knowledge, it should be assumed that there are many ways to develop addiction, and the coexistence of biological, psychological and environmental factors contributes to its formation. None of them is addictive, although in the case of different people, the influence and significance of individual factors may be different. The emergence of addiction must be preceded by a period of using/drinking, sometimes longer and sometimes shorter. Addiction is not a genetic disease. However, in some individuals, biological factors play a significant but not independent role in the formation of addiction.
Internal sources of factors that support addiction development include damage to the body as well as physical and mental illness, a deficit of practical life/social skills and a destructive life orientation. On the other hand, external, situational sources of activating factors include situations of stress and increased risk, permanent damage to important social relations, and negative social consequences of harmful drinking/using in the past. As you can see stop using or drinking is a good beginning of the whole process but to fight the addiction we need much more to change…
“You can search throughout the entire universe for someone who is more deserving of your love and affection than you are yourself, and that person is not to be found anywhere. You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserve your love and affection.” (Buddha)
Self-love is a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions that support our physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self-love is dynamic; it grows by actions that mature us. When we act in ways that expand self-love in us, we begin to accept much better our weaknesses as well as our strengths, have less need to explain away our short-comings, have compassion for ourselves as human beings struggling to find personal meaning, are more centered in our life purpose and values, and expect living fulfillment through our own efforts.
Perhaps, you have difficulties to show yourself love, acceptance, compassion. If you would like to change that and learn more about yourself just visit my website and get in touch: www.julaaniol.com
Mindfulness is the art of conscious living, as through systematic self-observation and study of the nature of own mind gives the opportunity to find harmony, joy and wisdom in life. It involves developing skills fully focus attention on what is in the moment, here and now experiences (sensations, thoughts and emotions). Clustering, in which we assume and accept what we are experiencing in the present moment, the way it is, without the habitual evaluation and attaching to it. In this way, we allow what appears in the attention has gone, giving the place the next, always current experience.
If you would like to find out more about mindfulness and learn about this way of living, justget in touch and I can help you with that.